“There is no direct flight from order to reorder.” –Richard Rohr
Change can be scary. It’s a messy process. To break free from the old and step into the new, we must first embrace the chaos and upheaval that comes in between. Richard Rohr describes this process as the movement from Order to Disorder to Re-order.
As much as we would all love to go straight from order to re-order, real transformation requires us to get comfortable with the uncomfortable and embrace that middle period of uncertainty, knowing it is a valuable and necessary step on the road to renewal.
Think about any time you’ve cleaned your house. There’s always that moment when you look around and realize everything looks so much worse than when you started! What was once packed tightly away is now strewn about, and you can’t believe how much stuff you have. But without this step, you would never be able to identify and all of the extraneous items that have been taking up space in your home. The disorder is a major part of the process.
The same is true when we think about love. There comes that moment when you realize a relationship is not right for you, but it would be nearly impossible to seamlessly replace it with a new one. First, you need the time to separate from the old, sift through the pieces of it, grieve your loss, and find the acceptance you need to move on. Only from there can you find the space to allow something new and better to come into your life.
Order > disorder > reorder. Wherever there is real change, there is momentary disorder. Death always comes before rebirth, and the process of shedding the old can be uncomfortable. But without it, there would be no growth.
To see how this process may be unfolding in your own life, try asking yourself the following questions:
Is the safety of my comfort zone keeping me from stepping into the unknown and making the changes I seek?
Where in my life can I soften into the discomfort and allow myself to embrace uncertainty as a part of the process?
How would my discomfort change if I knew this were merely a step on the road to renewal?
As always, be gentle with yourself and enjoy the journey inward.
Lots of love,