• Maggie Gold

How am I Seeing Myself as the Victim?

I've been spending a lot of time lately sitting with insights from the Gene Keys, a book of wisdom based on the Chinese I Ching. Throughout this process of contemplation, one major theme that has been coming up is the idea of victimization, specifically the tendency to perceive life through the lens of the victim. It calls each of us to ask ourselves the question, “do I primarily believe life is happening to me or for me?”

When we believe that life is happening to us, we can fall into the trap of placing blame outside of ourselves for our feelings and circumstances. We may blame the weather or the food we eat for how our body feels rather than trusting in its internal rhythms. We may become swallowed up in feelings of hurt and frustration when someone speaks curtly to us rather than seeing from a place of compassion and remembering that the behavior of others is not a reflection of us. 

At its core, this belief in our own victimhood is a form of not trusting in life.

When we are able to step out of this victim consciousness, we remember that the universe, at every moment, is ready to give us exactly what we need for our spiritual evolution and our greatest good. This total trust allows us to see the gift in any situation.

As you go about your day today, practice simply noticing where this mentality may be appearing in your own life. And remember, there is no need to judge ourselves. These patterns appear in all of us from time to time--it nothing to be ashamed of. The work is simply a matter of bringing awareness to these patterns. And in that awareness, we slowly begin to free ourselves from their influence. 

To help you develop this awareness, try asking yourself the following questions:

  • Where am I looking externally to explain my feelings or circumstances?

  • How would things change if I could view this situation as happening for me instead of to me?

  • What hidden insights, teachings, or opportunities might I be missing by believing I am a victim of circumstance?

  • What would it look like for me to take total responsibility for this situation?

As always, be gentle with yourself and enjoy the journey inward. 

Lots of love,


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